Here Goes...

Just for you Honey because you said it would be good for me and even though it's not the post you had in mind, I DO take your suggestions to heart!! ;-)

I apologize in advance if it's not so cheery. I'm still working on the cheery part.
(how come my spacing isn't working???)

I am so sad. And I really don't remember a time in my life when I've felt so low. I want my baby. And I want to go home. I wonder where this comfort is that my friends are praying for. Don't people talk about feeling the loving arms of Jesus or having some Scripture to hold onto? Where is that? Why do I feel like my prayers are bouncing off the ceiling? Why does everything keep going on the same?

And as I'm laying in bed this morning trying again to pray I see something out the window. It's a squirrel on my fence. I like squirrels and there aren't many of them here. So I watch him until he runs off and I realize something new....

The comfort IS the everyday...the do the next thing. It's the

~cute squirrel on my fence

~the happy girl in the backyard tending the garden

~the full canning jars in the fridge

~a daughter that takes the bread out without being asked

~School

~housework, laundry, and chores

~soccer games and babysitting dates

~perfect weather and the sun that *does* rise every morning in spite of my ideas

~the perfect e-mail from an old friend

~space to breathe

~the counsel of my best friend

~someone else to answer the phone when I can't muster up a cheerful voice

~a daughter that wants to watch my favorite movie

~diapers to change and shoes to tie

~reading the blogs of my best friends

~a quiet afternoon nap

Then there's the comfort that is in a class of its own. The gift of a faithful man.

~strong arms that hold me and cry with me at night

~words whispered in my ear

~the look on his face that says he's sorry that my body has to finish the physical aspect of this

~time and the space he gives me to be myself

So I learned that sometimes comfort doesn't come in the ways you expect. Not in the way *I* expected anyway. I don't feel some warm fuzzy feeling -- no glow. Instead it has been packaged in a much more practical way. The "keep on going and I'm here to help you take the next step" package.