It's been a bla couple of days. And when you look at it from the outside it's looks pretty good. The kids are happy, the weather is perfect, the family is healthy. So why am I feeling this way?
I don't know.
Questions rattle in my mind like....Am I really making a difference in the life of anybody?
Am I an utter disappointment to God?
Where's the fruit?
I have been given so much but I give so little. And what I do give, does anybody even want?
Stuff like that.
And while I'm not usually given over to a mood of depression, I'm finding it hard to smile and stay focused. Not grouchiness really, more like confusion. I'm battling with wanting things I can not have and giving over that which is not mine.
I am so distracted with "stuff".
3 comments:
O Sandy I will be praying. I too find myself distracted with stuff and pulled to and fro. God loves you very much and will walk with you through each moment.
Love, Emily
There is fruit.
Do not grow weary in doing good honey. I will pray for you and help you.
I know how you feel! Psalm 73 has been a comfort to me during these times... "Truly God is good to the upright, to those who are pure in heart. 2 But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled; my steps had nearly slipped. 3 For I was envious of the arrogant; I saw the prosperity of the wicked. 4 For they have no pain; their bodies are sound and sleek. 5 They are not in trouble as others are; they are not plagued like other people. ... But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a wearisome task, 17 until I went into the sanctuary of God; then I perceived their end.... When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, 22 I was stupid and ignorant; I was like a brute beast toward you. 23 Nevertheless I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. 24 You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me with honor. 25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire other than you. 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." May God be with you.
Janice
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