Opportunities

Ever since VBS I have not been the same.  I've been spiritually discontent.  And while I'd never consider ourselves to be pew warmers I still could not shake the fact that there needed to be more.  But more what??  Not sure.

A few things came to mind.  I wanted to be able to share the Gospel without blinking an eye, without using church words, and for it to roll off my tongue...more like jump out of my mouth.  I want my life to count for God.  I don't want to waste it on myself.  I have a greater compassion for the lost and look at people a bit differently.  Apartment ministry sounds appealing.  Outreach is huge.   I want to be approachable.  I'm willing to get messy.  ...and to re-think some things about various ministries that I've believed for a long time. 

Problem is that I felt a bit alone in it all.  No one else in my family had the same stunning experience I did.  And while Honey was a good listener and very willing to back me in whatever I wanted to do, he didn't have the same heart for it that I felt. 

And so I've felt stuck.  But trusting God to bring about the right thing at the right time without me trying to make something happen.    I've clung to this verse... "But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  To him be glory both now and forever!"  2Peter 3:18

And things are slowly changing.  It hasn't been the WOW that I've wanted.  I haven't saved the world.  But there have been some tiny things that have been meaningful.  I have had 3 opportunities to share Christ this summer.  It was wonderfully easy and made my heart rejoice.  Yep, "to him be glory". 

I've been praying for a family ministry.  Something that most of us could be involved in.  Something that we could work on together, pray about together, reach out together.  But for the life of me, I couldn't possibly think of what it could be.   

A couple of weeks ago, my pastor approached Honey and asked we'd pray about our family leading youth worship for 3 months.  Did you catch that?  Our family.

I didn't. 

In fact, my first response was "Of course not."   I mean, that's not our sort of thing.  And just as soon as those words left my mouth I was reminded of Henry Blackaby.   He always says, "Pray and watch for what God wants to do and join Him."

In the course of my regular reading I come across this.."in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation."  Ps 5:3  Nothing I was looking for, just in the usual reading pattern of the day. 

What I think is funny about that is that I had no idea what I even had in mind, but I was sure that couldn't be it.  Why do I think I could have a better idea than God? 

Tonight my family was invited to do music at Immanuel.  Something totally different from our church.  An outreach opportunity.  Our family.  Outreach.  Oh yes, Lord. 

So now I am eagerly waiting in expectation to see what's next.   However, I'm trying to put aside my own ideas and trust God. 

He has better ones than I do.