I've been thinking about a comment I heard this week regarding my family. It seems we were the object of someone else's chatty musing. And while I try not to let it bother me, it does a little. Of course being the blogger I am, it just had to be a post, right?
First I will clear up a few misconceptions...
~Each child is not exponentially harder.
~A big family is not harder than a small family.
~I'm not busier than a mom with 2 kids.
~My older kids do not have more responsibility just b/c they are in a bigger family.
I've found that we are curious to most b/c we are not the norm. There are some (most) that seem genuinely happy for the blessings on our lives, they enjoy our kids, they want to see us succeed. Then there are those that watch from a distance, quick to share an opinion, and secretly hoping one of them ends up in jail. Thankfully those are the quiet ones.
So here's the truth....
~Each child is exponentially more joy to the family.
~It is different. Not necessarily harder.
~We help each other. Many hands make light work.
~We are not perfect.
~We are our own entertainment.
~We go through a lot of gallons of milk.
~We have a lot of coat hangers.
~God's plan is different for each family. A big family is not "more blessed" than a small one.
Unfortunately it also means that we are sometimes the target of gossip and speculative chatter. Oh well, it is what it is as Honey says. And really it doesn't bother me too much. Just something else to blog about, right?
5 comments:
"you have HOW MANY kids?!"
"Don't you know *how* that *happens*? Maybe we should get the pastor to teach a class?"
"Are these ALL your children?"
"You should start a football team- you've already GOT a basketball team."
"no thanks, I don't need to see the baby, I've seen all the other ones before"
"What about your carbon footprint?"
Bet you've heard all those, huh?
man, though people think big families are so odd and weird.
Oh well, as annoying as those comments can be, I really hope I'll have occasion to hear them someday, about my own family. And I'm glad my parents had "that many!" kids :P
I'll have to disagree with you on one point.
I think - at least in my case - the older kids do have more responsibility being in a larger than usual family.
That said, I don't think that's a bad thing at all. Actually, I think it's GOOD thing & those in smaller families have to work harder to come up with things for their children to be responsible for.
maybe we don't disagree, after all :-) I just might be lazier & wouldn't make my older kids be as responsible as they are, if it weren't out of necessity.
Also - my younger children tend to do things - well - younger, than others. Brandon can do things at 9 that I would have never thought to have T or Lana do at that age.....
I guess what I'm saying is that in a larger family - there is more opportunity for giving/accepting responsibility - but it is not burdensome (usually :-)
love you!
tracy
I seem to remember thinking that 4 was easier than two. :)
Maybe the difficulty level has more to do with the heart of obedience in the home (parents to the Lord, children to parents, organization vs chaos etc) than with the numbers? In that case, I'm sure we all have some better days than others. :)
Another good reason not to compare ourselves with others or make assumptions based on brief glimpses. :)
I am very thankful for the Taggs as a family and for each individual...all 9 kiddos have been a blessing to me in one way or another.
I feel the need to chime in here. I think four was easier than six or maybe I am slow on the adjustment to more and the easier comes later. HA!
Definitely I agree that all are a blessing! I certainly would not change our number for anything, except to add to it. I sure wish one could do that easily w/o labor.
Anyway, I have no deep word of wisdom, but thought I could speak because I have been on the recieving end of such more than once as well.
love ya
jodie
I have three and I was just as stressed out with having one for seven years as I was having the others. Perhaps much of it is Mom's personality? My need for things to be a certain way was the most stressful part of having children. What has changed is my ability to let things go that do not matter and not be so much of a perfectionist. I have three and I get comments! I just tell them I would like to introduce them to some of my friends... giggle
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