I was visiting with a friend from church last night. She is the oldest of 5 in her family and now in her 50's. She said that she *always* had to babysit so much (as in watch her younger siblings) that she decided she wouldn't have kids til she was 30. And she didn't.
Don't we all have some sort of childhood baggage that we bring into our own families? "When I have kids I'm NEVER going to....".fill in the blank
One of my children was commenting on how many dishes we always have. Yes, we do have a lot and most days have to run our dishwasher 4x. It's made me wonder what they will choose to take into their own families. Will they remember the work involved instead of the love and fun?
My son's soccer team is made up mostly of 2 children/2 income families. I doubt they ever have many dishes. I know that most of them eat out a lot b/c they talk about which child refuses to eat at which place. They are even willing to go to more than one place! Eating out is very rarely an option for us.
And while I read about sweet memories of homemade food that so-n-so had, I wonder if my kids will consider it sweet or bothersome. I was planning a traditional type of Easter meal. You know...roast, mashed potatoes, whatever else. And while my kids will not verbally complain, I know that they really wish it was something "better". If I suggested McDonalds there would be a victory song sung throughout the house.
So I wonder......
Will my grandkids eat sliced white bread b/c my kids always *had* to eat homemade bread?
Will they only have 1 kid so nobody will have to babysit or share a room?
Will they eat Sonic on Thanksgiving?
5 comments:
Sandy,
I think that it is so interesting to think what our kids will actually grow up and do. Valerie wishes that we would have had a bigger family.I am sure that she will have more than 3 kids. She is thinking about 6. Who knows. I just want whatever God has for her. Both of my girls have talked about adopting kids too, so I would not be surprised if I had some adopted grandchildren - that would be great too.
Sharon B.
Well, like you said, since we never DO go out, when we do, it's special. We always have mashed potatoes and roast!!! And when I grow up, I do think I'll want some of my "own kind"! I think it would be a lot easier for Moms if they could think like kids!:D
I agree.
I really know what you mean, Sandy. There is a huge part of me that wants my kids to do things the way I have chosen. (I guess mostly I just want to know they are listening to God and obeying Him in their lives.) But I'd love it if they homeschool and want a large family and so on.
But I know I have done things very differently from my mother and that doesn't mean that she didn't influence the kind of mother I am HUGELY. She had a lot of influence on the little things of my life, even though I have wanted to do the big things perhaps differently. Some of the things she passed down are very intangible, like cooking a home-cooked meal every night and always having our laundry done. Our home always smelled like something was cooking and she was always busy doing "homey" things. Mostly she was always there. Always. So are you--and what a tremendous gift to your children. I think the simplest things mean the most.
Love,
Susie
I'm realizing from hearing my own siblings perceptions of things and comparing then to mine about our "growing up" that many times our perceptions of what our parents were trying to do are "colored" by our own "heart issues." Funny that you should just write about this because I've been thinking about the dangers of parenting based on our perceptions of what our parents did because sometimes our perceptions are based on our own selfish heart issues. Also....as a daughter, it's made me aware that some of the things that we "blame" our parents for weren't their "issues" at all. Realizing that helps me grant more mercy to my own parents. And...makes it only more clear that I can only parent "as unto the Lord" in obedience to Him. My boys are going to have plenty of memories of when their mom "messed up." I sooooo hope they have good memories too! My prayer for them is that they are wise enough not to let their lives be driven by either. (they may have some "good" memories...that when measured to Scripture really weren't so "good" at all)
You do a great job of considering the wants and needs of each of your children with in the priorities that God has set for your family and within the bounds of His provision!!!
Love you,
Renee
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