So why did I buy so many? B/c they taste ok and you can use them in place of anything chicken. Besides they were forty cents a pound and sometimes my frugality trumps common sense.
It took me years to master cooking a whole chicken without gagging. So why did I think that a turkey would be different? It's just a little bigger right? Wrong. It's A LOT bigger and a A LOT more hassle.
So I start the morning with cheerful determination to cook this huge bird for dinner. I had Honey untangle the legs for me and pull out the bag of guts. (WHY does that have to be there?)
Turns out it was still a bit frozen. I had to go through the thawing process some more.
Ok though b/c I had bread to go in the oven anyway. Turkey would just have to wait his turn.
My new oven has this fancy probe thermometer thing that beeps when the turkey reaches the perfect temperature. No more guess work and it makes me feel better about it being done. I pull out the book and read up on how to do it. Piece of cake.
Turkey is ready, probe is in place, oven set to 325. On with the day....
BEEP. Oh yeah, this probe is neat. The bird is done and I take it out to rest on the counter. It's still early, but dinner is ready and there's time to play football with the kids.
Time to put dinner together and I pull off the top of the roasting pan to discover that the probe LIED! It was decidedly NOT done. What to do? I stuck in back in the oven for another hour and just hoped that was the right thing. I get so worried about all those poultry food poisoning warnings.
My family ate cereal.
It's 6:30 and the turkey's finally done. The kitchen is a mess from previous works and the little kids aren't ready for church in the morning. Honey and my 2 oldest are gone and I have this big yucky bird to deal with by myself.
I start tearing it apart getting it ready for the fridge. And guess what? Surprise! Another bag of who-knows-what was in there all the time. Good grief. So now what? Is it still safe to eat after cooking plastic in it? I have no idea. At this point I'm questioning every step and wondering if we're going to be up all night throwing up. I blame my grumpiness on the kids but it's really this stupid turkey. Well at least I can use the carcass to make broth in the crockpot tonight.
It's finally done and I pull out the crockpot. There is NO WAY this thing will fit in the crockpot. It's huge.
Forget it. I have my son take the bones to the trash.
I suppose I'll have to list this among my New Year's goals. "How to cook a turkey so that no one dies." One thing's for sure....I'm not falling for that forty cents a pound deal next year.
7 comments:
ROLF (rolling on floor laughing)!!!!!!!!
Turkey was delish! I could barely taste the plastic-guts flavor.
I'm with you, Sandy. I have an irrational fear and dislike of cooking any kind of bird. I recently mastered cooking a turkey breast because it's cheaper and more healthy than the lunch meat Erik likes for his lunches. But I have 3 whole turkeys in my freezer right now and I'm intimidated by them. One time I left a turkey in my freezer for 2 years because I just couldn't bring myself to cook it. My mom finally rescued it. So I need to learn to cook a turkey too. I need the freezer space...and turkey is yummy once it's all cooked!
haha, I'm sorry. I'm also jealous. I never heard about the 40 cents a pound deal! I love turkey and I REALLY love cheap meat :)
There, maybe hearing how much I wish I had it will make you more happy that you 'get' to deal with a nasty raw bird :P
I haven't cooked too many turkeys but the few I have cooked I put in a Reynolds oven cooking bag to bake. It always bakes nicely and thoroughly.
oh, I used one of those bags when we hosted thanksgiving last year!
My husband and big brother both said it was the best turkey they'd ever had. and everyone like it. It was moist and cooked very evenly.
I'll definitely do it again!
the second bag was gravy. who ever thought about gravy in a bag, but it was inside my 40cent turkey. right into the trash it went. cooking turkey is breast down and about weight and time. my first turkey this year i cut the back out of, laid it flat and covered it with tony chacheries (cajun spicy). Yum! it was so good. Next time I will be sure to put even the flat turkey breast down because it was a bit dry. I think it did cook faster that way though. The leftovers made the best enchiladas. Hang in there! I still have 4 or 5 turkeys in my freezer.
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