I Don't Have To Get It

It was a perfectly good day.  On the outside. 

But then...don't stand too close.

A hugely disappointing e-mail. 
A seemingly generous invitation that makes me question motives.
The realization that we made an non-repairable mistake with our kids.
Another low offer.
A cancelled trip to Haiti.

How could such a storm be brewing when the skies looked so clear?  

So I did what I always like to do when things don't go my way.  Cry and pout. Fold my arms across my chest and scream "INJUSTICE!"  I don't want to talk and I don't want to listen.  I'd much rather wallow in self-pity. 

God doesn't  allow this for long.  And for some reason that I will never understand, He speaks in the storm and stills the fury raging inside me. 

"Great is the Lord and mighty in power.  His understanding has no limits."  Ps 147:5

I never learn.  Why am I so hard headed?  I serve a God who has infinite wisdom and power, yet I am crippled because as Oswald Chambers says....I do not believe in His power apart from my own finite understanding.   So I throw a fit and demand answers.  Now.

When instead, I should just be still.
And quiet. 
And thankful. 

If I can just get my eyes off myself I can see that it's not about me.  I step back and realize that I believe lies that are birthed in the pit of hell.  And the fact is....I have been blessed with every spiritual and material blessing imaginable.   I have a God who is so patient with me that I don't even get blasted when I deserve it. 

It doesn't make sense.