The Carnival Of My Mind

I remember Les preaching one time and mentioning a blog with this title.  I immediately loved it and wished it was mine.  It's not though but I'm stealing it for at least a post title.  Don't tell. 

I could've probably also titled it Ridiculous Ramblings or A Lot Of Words That Will Probably Be Boring.  Or at least The Junk That Goes Through My Head When I Walk For Too Long. 

Because that's just what I did.  Walked a loooong time.  It started out as just trying to get in a walk before the rain hit.  Only it didn't rain.  So I kept walking.  For a long long time.  And rocking my new play list with plenty of Christmas music and giving the neighborhood a free concert. 

Because....

I woke up this morning to something I haven't felt in a long time. 
I didn't realize it at first, but after Honey left for work and I started moving around I noticed something.......I don't feel terrible!   In fact, I felt better than I have in a loooong time!!  And I was so thankful.  It really feels good not to be hurting as much as I usually do. 

I saw Maggie last night.  I'm so thankful for the way God has worked through her.  It's highly probable that she won't be here much longer but I'm not going to worry about it.  As it stands now, my man is trying to learn some of her techniques.  I love him. 

So as it was a warmer morning, the kids were already busy at the table working on school, and I realized that my wrist, elbow, AND shoulder could all cooperate at the same time to maneuver a leash, I laced up my shoes, grabbed my dog, and hit the street.  It had been too long.  God and I do some of our best business on these kinda walks. 

~I  spend way too much time "doing" and not enough time enjoying my kids.  Doing school, doing laundry, cleaning house, cooking, bossing people around.  And a good example is the fact that my kids were working on math and it is GOOD FRIDAY for Pete's sake!  I haven't done Resurrection Eggs with them and we have some good Scripture to be reading together today.  NOT math.

~And as I was thinking on this good day and Sunday to come, I burst into tears.  My Savior is awesome. 

~I got a new book.  Honey bought it for me last week because let's just say....it wasn't our best week and the word "butthead" was mentioned. 

 

My favorite quote so far... "Maybe there are times when we think a door has been closed and, instead of misinterpreting the circumstances, God wants us to kick it down."  

I've been thinking about it all day.  Because I have this deep desire that is good and right and the doors seem closed.  But its not going away and I don't think it ever will.  So I wonder......  
And I know that my man is reading this and saying "Oh my..."    But yes. 

~I'm praying for my Awana guy Hayden.  We were out for spring break last week and when he first saw me on the playground Wed he said, "HI Ms. Sandy.  I missed you last week!" 
Oh he is such a sweetheart.  Then he got in trouble during games.  But I'm pretty sure it couldn't have been his fault.

~I have some new ideas on menu planning and reassigning chores.

~Jes is sick.  And it always makes me pay more attention than when my other kids get sick b/c while he's a tough kid, his body doesn't usually handle sickness as well.  He's older and does better but my momma heart still goes back to when he was two and had 105 fever that I couldn't get down.  So I pay attention. 

~It's my Duck Dynasty night except it's gonna rain and my kids can't play at the creek so I can't preview which episodes they can watch.  So I can't watch it at all. 

~Yesterday we went on a field trip to a nursery to see how a large scale greenhouse works. 
Boringest field trip ever!  And it was 45 minutes out of town AND I got lost coming back.  I need to give more thought before signing up for free field trips.  I wasted a great amount of time and gas on that. 

I have a hard time discerning what is worthy of going to town.  Because I would've thought that to be something neat.  On the other hand, I keep my kids home instead of going to the library.  Homeschoolers that don't go to the library?  Because we are probably doing math of course.  Even though every time Ms. Turner reads a book to my kids they talk about it for weeks and we end up buying it.  Now that seems town worthy.  But is it when it would mean no "real" school that day and I have a library 2 minutes from my house? 

So Wednesday a couple of us ran in to pick up a chicken book.  And they know us in there and told us to shut up because Lane's funny story was being broadcast through the whole place and they are trying to teach the after-school kids to be good and we weren't helping.  Plus ZBoy left his hat last time.  Ms. Jan helped me look for my chicken book, barked at one of the after-school kids, and gave me the low down on the new librarian I haven't met.  Now see?... that's a good use of time folks. 

And I just can't seem to get along so well with this Charleston library and I'm not interested in the 25 books they have lined up against the wall.  Plus I owe a fine from the one and only time I checked out a book. 

I have a feeling I am way over complicating this library thing. 

~Last night I mentioned to Honey how I had run into a friend that we've known a long time.  For whatever reason, I've always wanted to be better friends with her.  But she is not interested.  Every time I'm around her, she always snubs me.  And I don't get it.  Because she is friendly enough to my other friends so I know its not that she is shy or something.  Fact is, she is not interested...period. 
Do you know what he said?  Something like, "what difference does it make?" 

Well I guess it doesn't make any difference, its just that I think we could be good friends AND I think our boys would get along great.  But no.  So as I was thinking on this this morning, I realized that he is right and I've spent too much energy on it.  Except it also opened my eyes to think of a couple of times when I've done that to someone else.  Reason number 7632 that I need my Savior.

~A long time later I went back home to find my kids being good, my voice gone from singing so loud, and my mind a lot clearer. 

And my kids were like, "Mom, did you get lost?"